'Vampyrz on a Boat' Review

Romance, Vampires, and Groundhog Day collide in the latest horror comedy from Mark Allen Michaels called Vampyrz on A Boat. Max and Del are former military operatives who are asked by Del’s cousin to come out to his ship and keep an eye on a group of individuals who seem to be up to something. While keeping watch, Max crosses paths with Sara and there are immediate sparks, but Max isn’t the only one who is interested in Sara. Soon Max finds himself on a mission to rescue Sara from a dark force on the boat. Along the way, he meets an eclectic group of folks on the ship, kills vampires, and realizes that sometimes you do get a second chance…or more.

Vampyrz on a Boat is a crazy ride that has lots of laughs, blood, and scares. The design of the vampires is creepy, and the practical gore effects were really well done. They also use some old-school techniques such as using the sound of a mosquito to convey the idea there is something present that you can not see. Vampyrz was filmed on the SS Lane Victory, an actual ship, which resulted in a visually appealing setting and lent authenticity to the atmosphere.

The entire cast has great charisma and chemistry, and the performances were effective. I especially enjoyed Dalla Valdez as Max and I would love to see more of this character. Max is the not-perfect hero who still can kick some ass and figures things out very quickly. Even when things get intense, Max stays fairly chill. His buddy Del, played by Curt Lambert, is the loyal and more expressive best friend. The two characters play off each other very well with a believable friendship and sharp banter. Carrie Keagan’s performance as Sara is solid. You could tell that she really got into the role and was having fun, particularly later in the story. Her scenes with Valdez are great, and it felt like there were some real sparks there.

Mark Allen Michael’s script doesn’t hold its audience’s hand, sometimes to a fault. I don’t need everything spelled out for me, in fact I prefer it not be, but my impression of the second half of the film was that it had missing scenes, with pretty big jumps between events. The gaps are filled in with a bit of dialogue, but it can be a challenge to follow the plot in a few places. The story plays around with time quite a bit, and the director may have done this on purpose to help the audience feel the confusion the characters were feeling. Just be sure that you’re paying attention when you watch.

If you are looking for a bit of a bloody, tongue in cheek, wild horror cruise then you will want to check out Vampyrz on a Boat. What it may lack in story it makes up for in high production value, solid performances, and plain old fun. I give it three and a half stubs.
Vampyrz on a Boat  will release on September 27th, 2022 on all major streaming platforms and select cable stations.